We think the best way to think about the difference between stress and anxiety involves pervasiveness, duration and whether or not there are triggers. Stress has long been thought of as our response to situations or experiences in our lives that we perceive as a threat; things like deadlines, a fight with a spouse, the loss of a job. Good and happy things can also be “stressful,” like getting married or moving into your own home. In all of these situations there is a lot to respond to, perhaps a lot to do, and one has to figure out how to approach or deal with the “threat.” 

Anxiety, on the other hand, is often a more chronic state of dis-ease that we can feel emotionally (mentally) or physically or both. Sometimes the accumulation of too many stressors, especially occurring in a short period of time, can lead to the more ongoing experience of anxiety. We find ourselves worrying about one or many things, more vigilant than we had been before, trying to anticipate and control things, including things that are realistically, outside of our control. This is an honest attempt to decrease our distressing feelings, but it often leads to feeling constantly pre-occupied, spinning in our own minds with no apparent way out. 

Anxiety is a normal and even healthy human capacity and reaction. Being able to perceive threat and to have the wherewithal to gather resources sufficient to respond to danger, is how we survive. But chronic stress or anxiety is different. It is exhausting instead of energizing, and can lead to problems sleeping, irritability, reactivity in relationships, physical symptoms (including panic), distractibility and an increase in mistakes, and unhealthy forms of coping like substance use or overeating.