Working with children and families as an ABA therapist has put me in a position to witness the strength, resilience, and extraordinary levels of patience many parents bring to caring for their children. Parents raising children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or ADHD often carry far more than others can see from the outside.

Parenting a Child with ADHD or Autism Can Be Exhausting

The challenges that come with raising a child on the spectrum or with ADHD can be immense. Seeking services, coordinating therapy appointments, managing work schedules, attending psychiatric or medication-management appointments, monitoring how things are going at school, trying to remain present as a partner or spouse, and balancing extracurricular activities or additional supports for a child can become overwhelming very quickly.

“Overwhelming,” in fact, may be an understatement.

When life becomes this demanding and chaotic, parents often overlook giving themselves the credit they deserve. There is rarely time to pause and acknowledge how much they are holding together. Many parents are so focused on their child’s needs that they barely stop long enough to recognize their own exhaustion, frustration, grief, or emotional depletion.

This post is for the parents who feel burnt out, depleted, discouraged, or unseen.

Why So Many Parents Feel Burnt Out and Alone

It is important to say clearly: the feelings that arise while raising a child with ASD or ADHD are entirely valid. It is not wrong to feel overwhelmed. It is not wrong to feel frustrated, exhausted, emotionally flooded, or even to occasionally feel like you want to throw in the towel. The level of care, attention, patience, advocacy, and emotional presence required can be extraordinarily demanding.

To have difficult feelings in response to difficult circumstances is human.

At the same time, parents often forget that they deserve care and support too.

Making space for even small coping strategies can help restore some balance amidst the storms of parenting. Deep breathing, taking a walk alone if possible, listening to music, going for a run, exercising, or reconnecting with a hobby or preferred activity can help create moments of emotional relief, grounding and even, pleasure. These moments may seem small, but they matter.

More importantly, parents do not – and should not – have to endure the overwhelm and chaos in silence.

Therapy Can Support Parents Too

The emotional burden that can come with raising a child with ASD or ADHD is a lot to carry alone. Many parents are incredibly strong and capable of tolerating a great deal of stress, often pushing themselves far beyond their limits. But strength does not mean you have to suffer in isolation.

Having a trained professional to talk with can make a meaningful difference. Therapy can provide a place where parents are able to express frustration, sadness, guilt, exhaustion, confusion, or conflicting emotions without fear of judgment. Talking through these experiences can bring not only relief and comfort, but also help parents feel more emotionally available and connected in their relationships with their children and partners. 

The less filled up we are with chronic tension, emotional exhaustion, and frustration, the more space there is for moments of joy, connection, patience, and fulfillment.

Parents who work this hard deserve acknowledgment, support, compassion, and care for themselves as well.

Most importantly, parents deserve to know this:

You are not alone.